Deciding to end your marriage is a serious and difficult decision. Rukhiyatauditiar The decision is likely to have taken a lot of time and thought about the impact of changes that will occur in your life and your children. Research shows that open and persistent feuds can have a negative impact on your children. Rukhiyatauditiar Sometimes the best option is to end the situation that damages everyone involved. Even if your reasons for divorce are justified, the divorce still causes a lot of suffering and uncertainty for you, your children and who soon became your ex-spouse. Parents often hesitate to explain to children about the decision because they know that children will react with confusion, sadness, anger and distrust. Rukhiyatauditiar These feelings are natural and if you handle them with understanding and consideration you can help your children through these difficult times with minimal damage. The following suggestions will help you start a conversation with your children about your divorce as gently and with all the attention as possible.
Gather the whole family when telling your children
Both parents and all children should be present. This scenario may be emotionally or uncomfortably difficult for adults, but this scenario will help your children understand that the decision is shared by both their parents and they will not be asked to side with anyone. Then, parents should be ready to discuss it separately with each child to explain, answer questions and provide certainty.
Reassure the children that they are not to blame
Make it clear that the reason for divorce is marriage feuds and that children are not the cause. Children are often worried that their parents are divorced because children do not behave well. They need additional certainty that the problem is not so. Also, with the statement that the decision has been taken by both parents so they do not blame one of their parents. Although your feelings about your spouse are a little less positive, remember that there is nothing to gain negative comments about someone your children love.
Tell the children that their parents still love them
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The vulnerability of relationships is frightening to children when their parents are separated. The concept that marriage will end, but raising children continues, is an elusive concept.
Take advantage of existing resources for your children
Many books on divorce have been written in recent years. If parents have previously taken counseling, children may have been invited to one of their sessions to express their feelings. Some community sources set up support groups for school-age children and adolescents to share experiences about their parents’ divorce.
Provide follow-up talks
When children process the information presented to them at the beginning of the discussion, they will need follow-up discussions that allow them to ask questions and express their feelings. Understanding of their divorce and its effect on them will be felt with the passage of time, and parents should be ready to talk about it and listen as needed.